Mars Needs Moms [2011]

If Mars needs moms, so be it. But I don’t think earth needs this movie at all. The folks at Walt Disney Pictures obviously weren’t thinking on a very high level when they decided to make this film, which is definitely the worst they could come up with in nearly a decade. There is no charm or magic at play here, no sense of discovery upon entering the movie’s universe, no nothing. The story is paper thin; what should have been a 20 minute short goes on for an hour and a half. I fell asleep three times while watching it. That’s always a bad sign. Milo is a whiny brat (and by whiny I mean extremely whiny) who hates taking the trash out. After a long night of misbehavior, he witnesses the abduction of his long suffering mother (voiced by Joan Cusack) by a group of martians. When he tries to follow her, he eventually ends up on the alien spacecraft, where he is reminded just how damn important moms are afterall, and decides to rescue her before her body explodes into nothingness (WTF?). Yes, those martians are pretty ruthless, and they are led by a nazi-like figure that resembles ET’s ugly twin. Together, they have established a plan to abduct the best of earth’s maternal figures in order to suck their life force out, or something. If this sounds confusing, watching this mess will only make it worse. The result is a movie that is too dark for kids, and too lame for adults. In other words, it’s meant to please no one. Martians maybe?

Rating: 1.5/4

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